Just say NO!

Many years ago, it was the reigning phrase in the United States, and referred primarily to drugs and their abuse. For me, it has been an essential part of my life, ever since I was a very small child, which is when I learned how to express my opinion in firm and clear tones. Which, at that age, tended to be shrill and squeaky, but still firm. Even today, my father insists, I say NO with the same obdurate fervour, perhaps not as shrilly, but often as squeakily, refusing whatever it is almost before I know what it is.

NO is a good word for all seasons. It works well for me, as long as I know how to use it. And, as I have grown up, I have learned that saying no is not always the right decision. So I now think a moment, then I say what I think should be said at the time and place, and think a little more before saying the ‘yes’ or ‘no’ that I need to for the situation. Here are some useful pointers that do it for me. There are, of course, lots more that I can’t even start listing. If I did, someone would say NO, don’t!:

If you are offered a job that you don’t really want or need, say NO. Rider: The money or add-ons may be tempting, but if you are good, another better offer will come your way soon enough.

If you are given work that does not fit your original brief and does not excite you in the way your work should, say NO.
Rider: There are always alternatives. So find them, let people know, and get to work – the work you are passionate about.

If you are offered food or drink or a ride by a complete stranger, say NO.
Rider: If there are people you trust with you, and/or it is a situation of major stress (a flood, a medical emergency), saying yes may be the right decision. But, in general, NO is good.

If you are on a diet and have already eaten your ‘indulgence’ calorie count, and someone offers you a luscious chocolate torte, say NO.
Rider: Do you need to diet, or is that extra flab just PMS water weight? If they push you, saying yes may be good for you – stress can lead to weight gain, you know!

If you are offered a flyer or brochure as you walk past someone distributing them, say NO.
Rider: Most people who take these pieces of paper throw them away after a cursory glance. Why not see if you are interested before taking whatever it is? And if you are indeed interested, you would probably know about it anyway.

If you are offered a time-share vacation through a mobile phone text message, say NO. Rider: I can’t think of any, since most of these are scams with lots of hidden T&C that apply, as the message will say. Those same terms and conditions are the ones that stick you in a morass of EMI and IOU. You work those out!

If someone you don’t want to know too well tries to get intimate with you, say NO.Rider: If you want to know them better, it’s your call!

Whatever, whoever, wherever, whenever…always remember that it is your decision. If you want to, say NO! You can always change your mind later, especially if you are a woman. It’s in your genes, your right