Most people I know, myself included, resist change. They do not want to work on a new job, do not want to try a new kind of food, do not want to move to a new city and do not want to throw away old photographs. And there are some I know who cling to their old clothes like they were precious possessions. Which they often are, with much sentimental value attached, but perhaps usability should be a stronger motivating factor? Try telling someone who likes his T-shirts old, ratty and faded that!
No, this is not directed wholly at dear Daddy, who prefers his shirts in a precarious state and his womenfolk far away from them. It is, in fact, a take off on a dear buddy of mine, with whom I now work and exchange insults, compliments, gossip and oblique comments. Sid has daughters, who despair as much as I do my father’s wardrobe, of his saggy, baggy, past-sell-by-date T-shirts. He revels in them, he says. And I think he revels, equally, in irritating his girls. His daughters are at that stage in their lives when they want to change Daddy for a new and improved model, preferably one wearing spiffy, clean, un-holed, un-battered, un-faded clothing. Do they succeed? Not at all. Sid, like my very own Papa, has his standards and beliefs and will not change them or his T-shirts for anything…or anyone.
This obduracy is characteristic of all humans. Take me, for instance. Tell me to change my life and I will resist, kicking, screaming and scratching. I will not move my favourite chair one inch to the right, feng shui or no, if someone says I should. But suggest it, with nice chocolate frosting on top, with logic of my kind attached and the chair will not only be moved that requisite inch, I will also change the whole room to fit with any advice that is directed at improving my environment and existence.
There are people who swing with the tide, however, and change at the drop of the proverbial hat if someone moots it. My friend Vinnie, for one. Ask him for an opinion, he has one. Give him five minutes with someone else with another opinion and Vinnie will change his in that direction. Tell him that he is wrong and the earth really is flat, and that is what he will believe, whole-heartedly and happily. And he will not hesitate to say so, knowing by then that it was all his idea in the first place. Which does not make him any less of a friend, just a more amusing one to watch.
I have been trying to change another friend of mine for many, many years, almost as long as I know her. She holds herself in very low esteem and is, sadly enough, prone to hysterical tears about too much to detail, all connected to her sense of self – or lack of it. For all that she runs herself down, I work to build her up, usually to only temporary avail. Through my eyes and brain, she is amazingly bright, pretty, talented, funny…all together a wonderful soul and a huge heart that I am lucky to know and be friends with. Tell her that – you think she will accept? Can you change a marmalade cat into a black one? Maybe after reading this, she will know what she is all about, really, truly. This one’s for you, SS!
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